Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
