okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
