I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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