whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
