Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
