North Korea, Best Korea!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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