OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
