I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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