Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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