Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
