Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
