So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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