I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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