I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
