but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
