Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
