White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
