Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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