There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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