im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
