I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
