he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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