I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
