btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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