For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
