Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
