p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
