GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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