what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
