If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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