Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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