I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
