69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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