I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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