I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
