We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
