the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
please come you make the beer taste better
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
