it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
