Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
