I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
