Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
