Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
