Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize