I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
