i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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