Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize