she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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