Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
