clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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