he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
