Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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