She announced her abortion via fbk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
