even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
