you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Randomize
