Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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