Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize