I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
