I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
