Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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