we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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