I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
